The Power of Saying Your Feelings
This morning, I woke up completely drained—no spark, no excitement, no motivation. Just… not lus for life today.
For the past five years, my wife and I have been doing what I can only describe as financial acrobatics—barely making ends meet. I've been building and selling kids’ Pikler sets, which carried us through most months. And when sales didn’t happen, my wife would humbly reach out to family for support.
Behind the scenes, I’ve been grinding—researching every side hustle you can imagine. From extracting minerals out of waste materials (yes, through actual chemical processes), to branching out in woodworking, flipping lubricants, and a dozen other entrepreneurial experiments.
But it wasn’t just our wallets feeling the pressure. Our marriage has taken its fair share of hits too. We've separated. We’ve reconciled. We’ve tried again. And again. There’s no denying there have been mistakes—on both sides. But somehow, through all the chaos, the grit to provide and the vision of a better life has kept me insanely-sane.
And then, just a few hours into my already gloomy day, my heart nearly stopped. You know those “we need to talk” messages? Yeah. That one. From my wife. Cue internal alarm bells.
Her message:
“Do you have a moment for me?”
I replied:
“Always ❤”
Still calm. Still unsure. But then she followed up with:
“Please don’t say anything until I’m done. I need to get this off my chest.”
My mind immediately jumped into panic mode:
Did I forget something? Did I say something wrong? Was I too distant? Am I messing up again?
While waiting for her to continue, I stepped outside for a smoke to steady my nerves. Then I came back in, picked up my phone… and read this:
Message 1:
“Thank you very much for the shelves in the bathroom, it's a big help. Thank you for thinking about the poison, even though we might die from inhaling Doom. 😋 Thank you for cleaning the windows in the mornings. And starting the cars.”
Message 2:
“Thank you for your assistance with the children's routine while my routine is so chaotic right now. Thank you for teaching them to treat me nicely. Thank you for your hugs and your kisses just for fun. Thank you for putting in so much effort to teach the kids the right way. Thank you for our conversations.”
Message 3:
“Thank you for holding my hand when I pray. Thank you for being able to see you pray. Thank you for helping me tidy up the house. Thank you for the coffee you make so delicious. Thank you for helping to plan where we are short financially and where you have already planned. Thank you for the effort you put into making me feel important to you, and for talking to me and also listening to me when I talk to you.”
Message 4:
“These are all little things that I don't always say thank you for but that mean so much to me. I want to try to remember to show that I appreciate it and that you do matter to me. It's easy to assume that someone else knows how you feel about them. But that's not possible if you don't show and say it. My world stands still without you, I know I'm strong and I can go on and do what I have to do. But the color fades when you disappear.”
Those words hit me like a wave of calm, clarity, and love. I felt… revived. Recharged. Suddenly, the heaviness I woke up with had lifted. Confidence restored. Motivation reignited. And I found myself actually looking forward to the day—and even more so, to going home.
Here’s what I realized:
We often forget the power of spoken (or written) appreciation. Of saying how we feel. We get so lost in surviving that we forget to notice—the small daily acts of love, the tiny gestures, the little efforts that make up the foundation of our relationships.
We assume the other person knows we’re grateful. We assume they feel our love. But assumptions leave room for doubt. Words, on the other hand—real, raw, heartfelt words—have the power to build bridges where silence creates distance.
Gratitude doesn’t need to wait for grand gestures. It's often about the tiny habits—like starting the car in the cold, cleaning a window, or brewing that perfect cup of coffee. It’s about taking a moment to say:
I see you. I appreciate you. You matter to me.
So today, I want to encourage anyone reading this:
Say the thank you.
Give the compliment.
Acknowledge the effort.
Speak your love out loud.
Because sometimes, all it takes to change someone’s entire day… is a few simple words
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